where nothing is waiting
by closingdoors
Summary: Post-5x05 fanfiction. "Tyson hasn't destroyed anything. He still has the ones he loves. He still has them. That makes everything okay, right?" COMPLETE.


_That time was like never, and like always._  
_So we go there, where nothing is waiting;_  
_we find everything waiting there._  
- Sonnet IV, Pablo Neruda

* * *

He convinces her to come home with him.

Ryan and Esposito give them soft little smiles of reassurance when they leave (hands linked, out of sight from Gates) but he ignores them. He can't help it. They don't understand. None of them understand. Not even Kate.

Tyson is out there somewhere. He knows that he is.

And that's why he can't let Kate out of his sight.

Even when they arrive back at his loft, and he's enveloped with smiles and hugs from his mother and daughter (Kate too, and she seemed shocked at that- especially the hug from Alexis), his heart still feels heavy in his chest. This place is his home. This place is his home where he loves his mother and his daughter and Kate and Tyson has taken all of that away from him. He's made it something twisted, something vile, something-

"Hey."

Kate curls an arm at his elbow, pulls him towards her gently. He follows her lead naturally, he'll follow her anywhere.

"You okay, Castle?" She asks quietly, glancing away from him to check that Martha and Alexis are occupied enough in conversation not to notice this one.

Castle swallows, feels his throat tighten when he tries to speak. "I- Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

He can tell by that look in her eyes that Kate doesn't believe him, but instead she lets her arm fall from his elbow and twines her fingers with his. "Come on. Spend time with your family."

Castle's heart skips a beat over that word, _family, _and his mouth opens but is too dry to say anything. Kate doesn't seem to notice it, what her word choice has done to him, and simply tugs him over to the sofa where Martha and Alexis are sat while he gapes at her mindlessly like a goldfish.

She pushes him down onto the sofa and squeezes close beside him, shoulder resting beneath his armpit and cheek resting on his shoulder. He startles slightly in surprise- she's never been so open like this in front of his mother and Alexis- but wraps his left arm around her shoulders regardless, pulling her closer and resting his cheek on top of her head.

Castle can feel his mother's and daughter's eyes burning onto him, but he closes his eyes and swallows lungful's of air. This is still a precious and wonderful place to be. This is still his home. Tyson hasn't destroyed anything. He still has the ones he loves. He still has them. That makes everything okay, right?

"So how does it feel to be the guy who broke out of custody, Dad?"

Castle's eyes open slowly to focus on his daughter, who's watching him and Kate with a happy expression, eyes bright and a wide smile, hair bathed with the red afternoon sun spilling in through the windows. Oh, God. His daughter. He may have never seen his daughter again. He could've died and _yes_, she had his mother and _yes_, she had her own mother and _yes_, she had money and _yes_, Beckett had once promised to look after her but- but-

She may have lost him.

It hits him suddenly and he tries not to react too much, but Kate seems to notice, because she tilts her head slightly and brushes her lips against his neck lightly, and he almost feels as though he has imagined it. But the way Alexis is staring at Kate shows it's real.

"Dad?"

He looks to Alexis again, and realizes he would've missed so much. He'd have never seen her graduate from College, walked her down the aisle or lived to see his first grandchild. All these things that are so far away, and he's glad they're far away because she's still his little girl, yet he's excited for all the same. Oh. He's so glad they managed to prove him innocent. So glad that Kate was there, that she had believed him all along. He couldn't have asked for any more than her trust.

"I'm…" His throat is tight, but he swallows away his emotions, hand curling tightly around Kate's shoulder. "I'm just glad everything worked out fine."

"Me too, kiddo." Martha agrees softly, and he smiles widely in return. He'd almost forgotten she's here. She's strangely quiet.

And then Alexis says, bright red as she does, "I'm so glad you're okay too, Kate."

Kate stills in his arms and then he feels her lifting away from their embrace slightly, leaning just out of his arms to stare pensively at Alexis. "I was never in the danger your Dad was."

Alexis shrugs. "Tyson caught up with the pair of you. And he tried to hurt you too, so." Alexis lets the sentence stay unfinished, ducking her head so she can hide behind a curtain of red hair.

He feels the tension drain out of her body then, a glimmer of tears in her eyes as she smiles, and he can't stop thinking those words she said over and over.

"Thank you, Alexis."

_Spend time with your family  
_

* * *

After two tubs of ice-cream and a glass too many of whiskey, Alexis and Martha retreat upstairs and Castle and Beckett are alone. She seems so at home here as she places their glasses in the sink, and he's struck with how much he aches for this to be an everyday thing. The domesticity of it all. But he knows that tonight she's only being so clingy and affectionate because of their near-death experience, and within a few days they'll go back to their normal relationship which isn't nearly so domestic as this one. Still, he hopes that someday this will become an everyday thing.

But the word _someday _clenches tightly in his chest, because someday Tyson could return and plague everything again, or hurt him, or hurt her. And then the words are spilling from his mouth without a second thought.

"Move in with me."

Kate almost chokes, swivelling from the sink to stare at him sitting on the stool, eyes wide and scared. "Excuse me?"

"I-" _Shit._ "I just- He got _in here, _Kate. And he saw- He saw things he shouldn't have _seen _and he's still_ out there _no matter what you say, and I can't risk that- I can't risk you. Kate, please."

Kate's expression softens immediately, and then she's walking around the island and tugging him off the stool so they're standing face-to-face, her arms hooking around his neck and pulling him close.

"Castle, listen to me. Tyson is _not_ coming back. He is _dead. _Okay? You're safe, your Mom is safe, Alexis is safe, and _I _am safe."

His hands grip her hips tightly, and she hides the wince she feels at the strength of his grip. "Kate." He chokes out. "Please."

She leans up on her toes and presses her forehead to his, noses brushing, and he can feel her eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. "Castle. He's not coming back, I promise."

"You can't say that, you can't know that." He denies, pulling her flush against him.

Tiredly, Kate sighs, hands cupping his cheeks as she presses a light kiss to his lips. "He's not coming back." She repeats. "He's not."

"Kate-"

Kate cuts him off with her mouth on his, hands clutching his shoulders tightly as he sways backwards in surprise, pulling her with him. He's trapped between the island and her now, and she takes advantage of that, pushing her body up against him in all the right ways. Then her tongue is invading his mouth and he can't keep up with her, with his thoughts, with the pounding beat of his heart that feels as though it's about to burst from his chest.

When she breaks away from him, panting and crying, he can feel the desperation coiling in her body too. He raises one hand to brush a thumb across her cheeks, catching stray tears.

"He's not coming back, Castle." Kate says, voice low and husky with tears.

Castle folds her into his arms, burying his face in her shoulder as she does the same with him, one of her hands fisting his shirt tightly.

"He's not coming back, Kate." He tells her, because he can't bear to see her this way.

* * *

Kate helps him make sure there's no light in the room.

She shuts the bathroom door and turns off the lights in the study, closes the door to that too as he closes the blinds so there's no outside light, and they submerged into darkness. He stumbles, but his groping hands find her in the darkness, and he can almost imagine her teasing smile as his hand lands somewhere inappropriate.

Then she lights the candles, like she did at the Hamptons, only a much smaller amount this time. He can just about see her in the intimate, warm glow, as she climbs into bed with him dressed in one of his shirts.

The lazy candlelight flickers against her face, long eyelashes and cheekbones casting shadows against her face, and he wishes they didn't. He wishes that Kate Beckett was not haunted with the shadows of her past, her walls, herself.

So he pulls her into his chest and she curls around him, face buried into his chest with one arm thrown across it, legs tangling with his own. The candlelight catches the colour of sunlight in her hair- bright and glorious and _happy. _He's comfortable with that. There are the shadows, but once they're gone the light shines through.

"Kate."

Kate hums, twisting slightly to look up at him with those beautiful eyes of hers. They're so warm and happy now, those eyes. Unlike how cold and closed-off they once were.

"Kate, I-" He swallows down his panic, because he needs to tell her. It's itching him all over, burning through his veins, and she's not helping by being as gorgeous as she is.

"I love you." He tells her, then closes his eyes and waits for her to run.

Only, she doesn't.

There's a small chuckle, and then a soft hand cupping his cheek. "Castle."

Almost scared, even though he should be happy because he's told her and she hasn't run away, he opens his eyes to find her hovering above him, a timid smile on her face.

"I love you too."

And then can't help himself from surging up, lips clashing with hers to show her all the ways in which he loves her.


End file.
